I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
