you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
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through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
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You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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