i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
operation harelip BJ is a go
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
