i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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