I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
