she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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