Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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