honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
