check it out our google latitudes are spooning
True but thats because hes a fetus.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
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