Dual....:-)
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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