Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
