is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
