So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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