what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
