i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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