..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I just want to make out with him forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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