whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I have already put on my inside pants.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
