IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
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