We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
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We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
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I think I just cured my dogs munchies
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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