Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
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