I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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