Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Drake has all the answers
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
