did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
