just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
