can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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