"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Dick very happy bro
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
