I just cut my nipple shaving
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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