We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
