i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
