I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
