My hand turned me down
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize