we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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