the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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