Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
don't judge my taste in strippers
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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