There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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