did you get engaged???
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
it's like heaven, but drunker
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
