I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize