she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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