Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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