I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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