so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
