I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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