Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
