Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
