Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
they're like a gay fantastic four
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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