just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
She swung at the pinata with crutches
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
