hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
