so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
