Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
