Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
