Where are you?
In a non slutty way
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize