you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".