omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...