i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
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literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
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I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.