Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.