dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams