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i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
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