I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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