i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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