You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
