9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
The feeling are messing with the penis
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize