Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
