you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
