My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
