so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
