I want to have your abortion
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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