where am i from again
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Randomize
